Terry's Big Adventures
River Rafter's Guide
(to Macedonia)
Chapter 8: Looking for a Sign

THIS WEEKEND THE HOTEL HAD ITS FIRST PAYING CUSTOMERS, A FAMILY OF FOUR FROM BITOLA REFERRED BY BROTHER-IN-LAW NICK. THE HUSBAND, JON, WAS ALSO IN THE ARMY AND SPOKE ENGLISH WELL HAVING SPENT A YEAR AT A MILITARY BASE IN TEXAS. THEY MADE A DEAL ON A ROOM WITH TWO BEDS FOR FOUR DAYS FOR JUST UNDER $40.

THE NEXT DAY TWO YOUNG WOMEN FROM SKOPJE WERE REFERRED BY DANIEL'S FRIEND, ZLATKO THE CABDRIVER, WHO ALSO ARRANGED FOR HIM AND DANIEL TO BE THEIR GIGOLOS FOR THE WEEK. THEY WERE IN THE ROOM NEXT TO MINE AND I HAD TO WEAR MY WAX EARPLUGS TO KEEP FROM HEARING THEIR LATE-NIGHT PARTYING.

ON MY SIDE OF THE HOTEL WAS A LARGE UNFINISHED VACANT HOUSE. IT WAS FOUR STORIES TALL AND THE ROOMS WERE CAVERNOUS. THE OWNER, AN ALBANIAN, WAS IN THE U.S. AND HADN’T DONE ANY WORK ON IT FOR TWO YEARS.

ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HOTEL WAS THE HOME OF NESHKO, HIS WIFE, DAUGHTER, AND TEENAGE SON. THE BACK OF HIS HOUSE WAS A SMALL PAPER MANUFACTURING OPERATION. HE OWNED SEVERAL INDUSTRIAL MACHINES THAT CUT ROLLS OF PAPER AND PACKAGED THEM. HIS PRODUCTS INCLUDED TOILET PAPER, PAPER TOWELS, AND NAPKINS. IN HIS YOUTH HE HAD BEEN A LOCAL SOCCER HERO AND HE USED HIS FAME TO GET CUSTOMERS, MOSTLY RETAIL STORES AND HOTELS. HE COMPLAINED THAT THEY WERE ALWAYS BEHIND IN WHAT THEY OWED HIM.

NESHKO AND HIS FAMILY WOULD SPLIT TIME BETWEEN THE HOUSE AND THE LARGE APARTMENT THEY OWNED IN STRUGA. THEY SEEMED TO BE DOING PRETTY GOOD. ON ONE OCCASION DANIEL SPENT NEARLY AN ENTIRE DAY FIXING ONE OF HIS MACHINES FOR WHICH HE WAS PAID VERY LITTLE. HOWEVER, NESHKO REFUSED TO WHOLESALE PAPER PRODUCTS TO THE HOTEL MACEDONIA, EVEN ON A CASH BASIS. HE WAS VERY NICE TO ME AS HE REALLY LIKED MY MUSIC AND JOKINGLY OFFERED TO BE MY MANAGER. AND HE OFTEN INVITED MYSELF, NIKOLCE, AND DANIEL OVER FOR COFFEE. BUT IN ANYTHING INVOLVING BUSINESS MACEDONIAN NEIGHBORS RARELY HELP EACH OTHER OUT EVEN IF IT’S TO MUTUAL ADVANTAGE.

DANIEL’S “OFFICIAL” GIRLFRIEND WAS THE DAUGHTER OF A STRUGA POLICE CAPTAIN. SHE WAS VERY IMMATURE, OVERLY SHY, AND WAS ALWAYS AFRAID OF BEING SEEN IN PUBLIC WITH DANIEL. HOWEVER, NESHKO’S DAUGHTER HAD A GREAT HEAD ON HER SHOULDERS, WAS PRETTY, AND I COULD TELL SHE REALLY LIKED DANIEL. I TOLD DANIEL THAT SHE WAS THE GIRL TO MARRY BUT I HAD THE FEELING NESHKO WOULD NOT APPROVE.

AFTER THOSE FIRST FEW CUSTOMERS BUSINESS CAME TO A STANDSTILL AT THE HOTEL. A BUSY TOURIST WEEK WAS APPROACHING AND THERE WERE NO PROSPECTS ON THE HORIZON. EVIDENTLY "WORD OF MOUTH" WAS NOT WORKING. I HAD AN IDEA, ONE THAT IS APPLIED IN BUSINESS EVERYWHERE IN THE U.S. I SAID, "LET'S MAKE SOME SIGNS AND PUT THEM AT INTERSECTIONS TO DIRECT PEOPLE TO THE HOTEL." "WHY NOT" EXCLAIMED DANIEL, WHO SEEMED INTRIGUED WITH THE SIMPLE PLAN. IT WAS SUNDAY AND THE STORES WERE CLOSED SO IN THE MEANTIME WE MADE ONE SIGN USING PENCIL ON A PIECE OF WHITE STYROFOAM. DANIEL SHOWED ME HOW TO SPELL "SOBE" (ROOMS) IN CYRILLIC AND WE ADDED HIS CELL PHONE NUMBER. WE PUT IT IN AN UPSTAIRS WINDOW THAT AFTERNOON.

THE NEXT MORNING WE AWOKE TO A CRY, "DANIEL, DANIEL!!" MRS. NESHKO WAS ALERTING US THAT SOME TOURISTS HAD SEEN THE SIGN AND WERE LOOKING FOR ROOMS. DANIEL GOT UP AND STRUCK A DEAL FOR A FOUR-MEMBER FAMILY FOR EIGHT DAYS--MORE THAN THE TOTAL SUM OF ALL THE MONEY TAKEN IN SO FAR. LATER I RODE TO STRUGA TO BUY SOME PAINT AND A BRUSH. WHEN I RETURNED I GATHERED SOME OLD BOARDS AND SET THEM ON THE OUTSIDE TABLE. GRANDFATHER MELOTIN HAD RIDDEN HIS BICYCLE FROM MISLESEVO AND WAS SITTING THERE DRINKING A LARGE BOTTLE OF SKOPSKO (THE FINEST BEER IN ALL OF MACEDONIA). HE WATCHED ME AS I FIRST ETCHED THE LETTERS IN PENCIL THEN FILLED THEM OUT IN DARK BLUE PAINT. "GUDT," HE WOULD SAY IN GERMAN.

I HAD FINISHED TWO SIGNS WHEN NIKOLCE ARRIVED. HE EXPLAINED THAT A YOUNG COUPLE HAD ALSO SEEN THE PENCILED SIGN AND PAID FOR FIVE NIGHTS. "SEE?'' I SAID, "AMERICAN MARKETING!" I TOLD HIM THAT HE WOULD GET MANY CUSTOMERS WITH THE NEW SIGNS AND THAT I WAS GOING TO PUT THEM AT STRATEGIC LOCATIONS (MUCH LIKE GARAGE SALES SIGNS IN THE U.S.). "AH, BUT WE WILL HAVE TOO MANY CUSTOMERS," SAID NIKOLCE. "WHAT WILL WE DO?" "MAKE MONEY," I SAID. "YES, BUT WE DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH BEDS." I SAID, "LOOK," DO YOU WANT TO FILL UP THE BEDS YOU HAVE? THEN PUT UP THE FRICKIN' SIGNS!" I WAS CALLING NIKOLCE OUT ON HIS MACEDONIAN NEGATIVITY. "HEY, I'M GIVING YOU GOLD AND YOU'RE COMPLAINING THAT IT'S TARNISHED! ALSO, IF YOU DON'T COME UP WITH THE IDEA YOURSELF YOU DON'T WANT TO DO IT." HE THOUGHT FOR A BIT THEN SAID, "YES, MAKE FIVE MORE SIGNS. WE WILL PUT THEM UP AT EVERY INTERSECTION. I WILL GO NOW TO ALEX THE BEDMAKER AND HAVE HIM MAKE THREE MORE BEDS!"

THE NGO HAD RESERVED THE LOCAL DISCO FOR THEMSELVES THAT EVENING AND HAD INVITED DANIEL AND MYSELF TO JOIN THEM. THE OCCASION WAS TO HONOR THE NEW HEAD DIRECTOR. ”ANY EXCUSE TO DRINK” WAS THEIR MOTTO. THERE WAS A FLASHING JOHN TRAVOLTA DANCE FLOOR AND EARSPLITTING BODY-PULSING ELECTRONIC MUSIC. THE SENSE OVERLOAD DROVE ME UP A WALL. KRISTINA FROM GERMANY KEPT BUYING ME DRINKS BUT I JUST NURSED ONE BEER FOR AN HOUR UNTIL THINGS BECAME TOO SURREALISTIC. A DISCO GUY I’M NOT.

FORTUNATELY DANIEL WASN’T INTO THE DISCO SCENE EITHER SO I SUGGESTED WE LEAVE AND GO WATCH NIKOLCE’S BAND PLAY THEIR LAST SET AT THE HOTEL DESERET IN OHRID. DANIEL HAD THE MAGIC CAR THAT EVENING SO ALONG WITH ALBERT FROM MONTENEGRO WE MADE THE TREK. I HAD NO IDEA IT WAS GOING TO BE A 30 KM DRIVE, WAY SOUTH OF OHRID. WE GOT THERE JUST BEFORE MIDNIGHT IN TIME TO SEE RHYTHM PLAY THEIR LAST SONG TO A GROUP OF SERBIANS WHO WERE ON A COMPANY RETREAT. AFTERWARD AN ACCORDIONIST PLAYED. AS THE SERBIANS WERE BOISTEROUSLY SINGING I HELPED RHYTHM TEAR DOWN THEIR EQUIPMENT AND STORE IT IN A BACK ROOM. IT WAS THE FOURTH OF JULY AND NIKOLCE SAID TWO AMERICANS STAYING AT THE HOTEL HAD BEEN CELEBRATING. ONE OF THEM HAD EVEN SAT IN ON THE DRUMS.

THE HOTEL DESERET WAS ONE OF THE LARGE FANCY LAKE RESORTS I HAD SEEN ON THE INTERNET. ON EITHER SIDE OF THIS RESORT WERE OTHERS LIKE IT. I HAD ASKED NIKOLCE ABOUT THEM WHEN I WAS CONSIDERING LOOKING FOR PLACES TO PLAY. WITH A BEWILDERING LOOK ON HIS FACE HE SAID THAT HE DIDN’T KNOW OF ANY RESORTS. HE PROBABLY LIED TO PROTECT HIS “TURF" AND DIDN'T WANT THE COMPETITION. TO FURTHER OBFUSCATE HE TOLD ME THAT THE BAND WAS HAVING DIFFICULTY GETTING PAYMENT FROM THE MANAGER. I COULD SEE THE ECONOMIC HARDSHIPS OF MACEDONIA AND UNDERSTOOD NIKOLCE’S SELF-PRESERVATION. HECK, I DIDN’T NEED THE MONEY, BUT STILL, I NOW HAD LESS TRUST FOR NIKOLCE.

ON THE WAY HOME WE ALL STOPPED OFF AT A CLUB TO HAVE A BEER AND TO LISTEN TO A RIVAL BAND. THEY FEATURED A FEMALE SINGER THAT WAS LOOKING TO GIG OCCASIONALLY WITH NIKOLCE’S BAND. SHE AND THE BAND WERE PRETTY GOOD BUT MOST OF THE ATTENTION AT OUR TABLE WAS BEING PAID TO THE PORN KIRE HAD DOWNLOAD ONTO HIS CELL PHONE PROVING ONCE AGAIN THAT MUSICIANS ARE THE SAME EVERYWHERE.

THE NEXT MORNING AN ALBANIAN FAMILY NEGOTIATED AN EIGHT-DAY STAY AT THE HOTEL MACEDONIA AND THAT SAME EVENING ANOTHER FAMILY RENTED A ROOM. ALEX THE BEDMAKER CAME THROUGH QUICKLY AND THE FOLLOWING DAY THE LAST ROOM WAS RENTED. A LITTLE INGENUITY AND MISSION ACCOMPLISHED--THE HOTEL WAS OFFICIALLY FULL. WE WERE NOW TURNING AWAY CUSTOMERS. HOWEVER, NO ONE GAVE THE SIGNS ANY CREDIT FOR HAVING THE POSITIVE EFFECT UPON THE HOTEL’S BUSINESS. THAT IS THE MACEDONIAN WAY . . .